I asked my 3 year old, “What do you want to be when she grows up?”. She looked at me innocently, without even the remotest bit of stress on her face regarding the situation & said “I don’t know”. Fair enough. At 3, I’m pretty sure I wanted to be a painter or a dancer or a singer. At one point, I wanted to be like my mom whom at the time was a vet assistant. Eventually I wanted to be a rock star. As I exited high school & had to make some kind of concrete (realistic) decision, I opted for an elementary school teacher. After decided four years of college was too much, I chose a photographer. Once I saw the cut throat market, I opted for stay-at-home-parent (on accident, twice over).
But being a stay-at-home parent, although fulfilling in so many ways, doesn’t fill a void I have to answer that question with something more permanent. “What do you want to be when you grow up?”. Eventually, my position as domestic goddess will expire as the children will be able to take care of themselves. I stay awake at night wondering, “What will I do with myself then?”
On a particularly low day, I recently googled “How to Find Your Life Purpose”. Sifting through the typical religious sites & a few with more of a Fight Club theme (“You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You’re the same decaying organic matter as everything else… Oh & by the way, you have NO LIFE PURPOSE!”)… I finally found one that semi-helped.
It told me to write. Write & write & write & don’t stop until you write the one thing that makes you cry.
I’ll be honest. I didn’t take it seriously. And I didn’t until I was watching Hungry for Change & I started crying with Frank Ferrante when he described how much he hated himself & how painful it was to let other people love him. I realized, food is my passion. Not JUST food — but GOOD food. My actions may not always show it (I’m drinking a Monster Java after I had a donut for breakfast), but I care about the food system. I care about farmers & farm land preservation. I care about animal welfare & soil nutrient balance. I got teary-eyed as Michael Pollan described Polyface Farms in The Omnivore’s Dilemma & the beautiful orchestrated balancing act of animals nurturing the land & the land sustaining the animals residing there. I feel so warm & moved when I read about people who have essentially saved their own lives through diet change or gave their food desert neighborhood access to fresh vegetables by starting a community garden. I feel so connected & like part of something greater when I go to farmers markets & chat with growers.
This weekend, we went to the Evergreen State Spring Fair. I was primarily going to listen in on Ciscoe Morris’ garden talk, but Monster Girl getting to enjoy a carnival ride & The Mister indulging in some BBQ were perks worth the $5 parking fee. Ciscoe’s talk was packed. There wasn’t even any seating available. People were drawn to him because not only is he one of our state’s master gardeners — he’s entertaining & he’s funny… & he’s passionate. I didn’t say anything to any one of the audience members. I didn’t even get to say anything to Mr. Morris himself. But I smiled so hard at seeing so many people taking interest in their own backyard & what they could do with it.
The beauty of talking to people who make your food is information. Knowledge is power. And people deserve the right to that power (which is why there are so many petitions & bills being presented requesting labeling of products with GMOs in them! Contact your state’s legislative team today if you want access to that power!) — We found out at the Spring Fair why our beloved Tribley’s BBQ sauce has high fructose corn syrup in it (& how they are working to try to find an alternative). We were able to talk to many BBQ’ers about who sources their meat & what they add to their sauces. But my favorite part of the event?
We got to chitchat with the proprietors of R Heritage Farm. Based out of Gold bar, they raise natural, pasture fed heritage breeds of pork & poultry. Their booth was full of so much information, I STILL haven’t even gotten to process it all & the photos of their beautiful animals made me green with envy… & terribly hungry! Recipe sheets & photo slideshows can only tell you so much though. Actually getting to talk to Ben, his energy is just electric. He truly beams with pride about his products & their sustainability on the farm. Again, there it was… that passion.
WHAT IS IT about being out in nature that makes people so passionate they come off as being totally CRAZY!? Funny story, I first noticed this when we were watching Food Inc for the first time. Brian, being a man, is very visual. He has to SEE things rather than listen to his nagging wife tell him why GMOs are bad & the damage the current food system inflicts on the planet. He knows his wife is a tree hugger. He also knows I have a tendency to overreact. That being said, food documentaries are how I’ve convinced him otherwise. While watching Food Inc, I’d refer to probably the most well known “grass farmer” as “that crazy farmer guy”. Brian would be chasing Princess Cthulhu or washing the dinner dishes & he’d ask from inside the kitchen, “What’d I miss?” — “Oh ya know, that crazy farmer guy is back on… He’s on the ground with some pigs”.
And now… 6 months later… I’m totally smitten over “that crazy farmer guy” & forked out mucho dineros to be able to watch him process a chicken at the Mother Earth News Fair next month.
As we walked away from R Hertiage’s booth at the fair & Ben’s speech on the benefits of cooking with lard (I promised I would give it a try), Brian looked at me & said “That guy was kind of crazy”
“Yeah… Kind of like Joel… But that’s going to be me one day.”
“I want to be that crazy, eccentric farmer person”